Important Steps to Emotional Security

It’s OK to be selfish

Hello, Lovelies,

Today’s post will be a bit different and is a topic that has been weighing heavily on me as of late, I guess being stuck inside during this pandemic has really brought some things into perspective.  So, I’m going to rant.

I have always believed that I was rather secure in my thought processes. I’ve always leaned towards being a ‘cut and dry’ sort of person and to me, that was my ultimate protection. I’ve always hated those “we need to talk” scenarios. For the life of me  I could not understand why others weren’t able to live and let go the way I was. My process was simple:

It happened, I didn’t like it, but it’s over now, move forward…

or similarly:

They did this to me, I didn’t like it, but it’s over now so move forward… 

But lately, I’ve come to the realization that this “I have to move forward” mentality was only a temporary Band-Aid for me and a permanent solution for those who have done wrong to me.

I’ve allowed them to feel like they were perfect, while they openly criticized my shortcomings. 

Here’s the thing, I’ve always been the quiet type. If life was a movie, I’d be the lighting director- gleefully shining the light on others in hopes of deflecting the limelight off of myself. My comfort is in the background. 

I’ve had moments of front and center action but  I promise it was not comfortable. Now I’m not ashamed of being a wallflower, I’ve grown to be rather proud of it, in fact, it allowed me to see things in people that  I ultimately used to protect myself. I didn’t need to wait for a ‘falling out’ to see their bad characteristics-I happily took the queues no one thought I’d notice to build a wall of protection around myself.  

But the toll that can take is exhausting.

I felt like a mental contortionist, twisting and weaving. It was infuriating that some people that were close to me weren’t able to see how hard I worked at making them feel like their contributions mattered, while they would outwardly state that my efforts weren’t enough.

While thinking of all these things and replaying scenarios in my head, I realized that I was always going to be walking on eggshells to avoid emotional outbursts from some of those around me…I’m no longer available for such things. 

I’m getting too old to carry the baggage of others.

I’ll be all about self-love first, call it selfish if you must.

So, for this season become unburdened and most importantly, find those who can stand by your side through  thick and thin those who understand your quirks and make you laugh despite them. You may win some relationships and you may lose some, but life goes on… it has to.

Let’s move forward.

Love Always,

Allyson @stillsofhue

Can you Relate to this?

Recharge and Refresh

Now let’s be honest life can be busy. If you ask me how my day was, sometimes I just give a one word response. Most of the time it’s “Busy”. Why? Because the thought of explaining how my day was is exhausting. I feel kind of bad because I know the person can be looking for a way to connect and have a conversation but Im too tired to talk.  

I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way.  There is always the next thing that you have to work on and the next thing that needs your attention. Sometimes you are laying there with absolutely no energy to get up and do the simplest thing like brushing your teeth. It’s not like you have to go run a mile to get to the sink. It’s literally 15 seconds away. You go over in your head the action of standing up walking to the bathroom, putting toothpaste on your toothbrush and brushing your teeth etc. For a second you think, man, I wish someone could brush my teeth for me. You are fine going over the actions in your head but when it comes to actually doing it you have no energy. 

You ask yourself why do I feel so tired. This was the longest week of my life. When I get to this point I realize that something is not right and I’m literally irritated and everyone about the slightest thing. When I actually stop and think about it, I realize that I am running on 5hrs of sleep and have been going non stop 95% of the time that I’ve been awake. From the time that I wake up to the time that you get ready and go to bed. From morning to night my brain has been on high alert focusing on what is in front of you and thinking about what you have to do next. 

When you get to this point it’s not healthy for anyone. It’s not good for the people around you and most importantly it’s not good for you. What good are you when you are burnt out trying to accomplish your goals and always on the go. You need to take time out to care for yourself. 

I try not to get to that point where I hate the world and want to crawl in a whole to sleep. But honestly sometimes things get in the way and I end up right there. 

As an introvert I recharge  when I’m by myself and have some time alone.  These are some of the things that I love doing to recharge  and refresh so I can go again. 

This is what works for me and you might find it helpful but it’s important to find what you love doing to recharge so you can be your best self.

I Take a shower

Although i take a shower every night, it is usually in and out then on to the next thing or go to sleep right away. But when I’m taking the night or day off my showers feel different. It’s almost like your mind and body know what is coming so you clear your mind and figuratively wash everything down to drain. When I get out I feel so light and fresh. I take the time to lotion my whole body, put on my robe and get ready for the rest of the evening or just stay in my robe. It’s my time so i can do what i want. As I get dressed or drink tea or light a candle I like to have to light Jazz music playing in the background. This might sound strange but it helps to keep my mind from wandering back to work.  

I light a candle or 2

Honestly I love candles. When I light a candle it’s like instantly the world is a better place. I don’t know why I just love candles especially if they have a mild scent like lavender or vanilla or something that is not too overpowering. Currently my favourite candle is from the Neob Niagra. Their Lavender candle is amazing. the subtle lavender smell is so relaxing.

photo of
Square Glorious Lavender Candle from https://neobniagara.com/collection

Drink some tea 

Tea is another one of those thing that just calm me. I also love a cup of Match Latte. Caffeine does not affect me that much so having a cup at night does not keep me awake. I dont know what it is about tea, maybe its the heat, but i find it very soothing.

Watch something funny 

I generally stay away from TV shows because once i fins one that i like and there are a few seasons already out its hard to break away when i could be doing something productive. I like to watch movies. Sometimes I watch it by myself or the people I’m living with. I am calm and present by this point so if i am with people i am more fun to be around and not always thinking about going to do the next thing. 

Sleep, sleep sleep

Its quite obvious but i cant finish without saying this. Sleep. Sleep is needed for your body to repair itself and . its important for your overall well being. If possible sleep and wake up without an alarm. When I wake up without an alarm I can just lay there and enjoy the new day before it even begins. I enjoy the morning light that fills my room and wish i can stay there. 

Remember Self-care is important and everyone should take the time and space they need to take care of themselves. 

Get some rest and take care of yourself. It’s good for everyone but most importantly its good for you.

-Joelle@stillsofhue

Cerave Moisturizer: Healing Dry Skin in Winter

These winter months create a whole new meaning to the word ‘dryness’. Have you ever felt like your skin was about to crack open even though you use lotion every day?  Well, if you answered yes, you are not alone. My quest for the perfect lotion started back in high school, now I’m not about to age myself but that was quite some time ago and the search felt never-ending.

I have always had an aversion to scents, and with how sensitive my skin is finding a fragrance-free formula for my lotion was an absolute must.

Now I can’t say that Cerave moisturizing cream was particularly new to me, I’ve definitely seen it before at drugstores and my everyday department store but I never picked it up, until one fateful day I carelessly tossed it in my cart and said “it can’t hurt”.

Cerave Moisturizer lotion pumping into hamds

**In love**

It was love at first glide! (technically, I guess it was love at first application, but glide sounds better, so we’ll stick with that) this application was smooth, thick, and best of all not sticky! Have you ever had those lotions where you felt like it had no substance to them? All runny and watery and virtually evaporating before your eyes? Well, not Cerave! applying it was like adding a protective invisible layer to my skin but don’t get ahead of yourself here, there’s a method to this madness.

Ever heard of transepidermal water loss?  Well, I hadn’t either, but while applying lotion after a shower I always did it on damp skin, my skin just felt better when I applied my lotion this way, so I continued to do it despite the looks of oddity I’d receive from others. 

When applying moisturizer to damp skin, it actually helps seal in moisture and helps protect its barrier. Transepidermal water loss is the amount of water that passively evaporates through the skin to the external environment.  Applying a thick moisturizer to the skin while it is still damp helps to seal in that moisturizer making for a happier skin barrier.

Ceramides help create a protective barrier for the skin, locking in moisture and preventing dryness. 

Hyaluronic acid also helps to alleviate dry skin and can aid in the ageing process by reducing fine lines and wrinkles.

So, the next time you’re out shopping and happen to come across this gold in a bottle, give it a try!

 Until next time,

Stay moisturized!

Allyson@stillsofhue

Have you tried Cerave? What you favourite lotion in the winter?

Lets Get Organized

I love that feeling! In that moment where Im sitting or standing and taking in all the work that I did and all of the new found space in my life , I feel light. I feel like I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. My mind is clearer. I feel like I can breathe and work peacefully. 

There are so many benefits to organizing and decluttering your life.  

Here are some really cool ideas for organizing small bedrooms

  1. Declutter or purge your closet and your space! 

Before you begin organizing, decide on what you can give to a friend or donate to your local thrift store. There are lots of people who could benefit from what you are holding on to but not using. If you have gently used items, share the love and let someone else enjoy it. You can then organize your clothes by garments. I like to have a little fun and organize by colour and garment type. I tend to keep dresses with dresses, sweaters with sweaters, pants with pants and so on. If there are long items try keeping those on one side so you can use the space in the closet under the shorter garments. 

  1. Store things underneath!

Store things under your bed in organizers. This is great because you know where your things are but they are not out in to open giving you a lighter feel that you don’t have to see as much things all of the time. Its also a great idea that you store things under the short hanging clothes in your closet. If you get a small dress or put in some shelves ir a great way to create extra space that you will use. 

  1. Store things on top!

If you have a wardrobe and there is space at the top of it what better way to use that space with baskets. It’s a great way to store things that are slightly bulky without taking up floor space. 

Storage organizers
https://www.ikea.com/ca/en/p/droena-box-white-40217955/
You can find these at Winners or at Ikea : DRÖNA
Box, white13x15x13 ” (33x38x33 cm)
  1. Get a cubby!

Using a cubby as storage is a great way to organize for shoes, purses or even book or other random items that you need to keep. We all have those things that fit no where but we we still need them

  1. Get a shelf!

If a cubby is not your style but still need the shelf space, a book shelf is a good option. You can still use if to store a variety of things in brackets or directly on the shelf. Layering shelving units directly on tho the wall is also a good way to make the most out of your space. 

  1. Get a coat rack

A coat rack is a useful you need to free up some closet space. You can hang bulky items on there like heavy coats or other jackets that you use often

  1. Double up

You can use your night stand like a desk instead of having 2 pieces of furniture in your room. 

Wayfair Louise Task Chair Check it out here Desk is from Wayfair Check it out
  1. Get a storage bench or seat

You can use the space inside to store bigger things and still use the bench as a place to sit an relax with a cup of tea with some friends, lounge on

  1. Store under your bed

There are some really great beds out there where you can lift the bed up and organize things underneath. You already know that you need a bed to sleep on so why not use the space inside it

  1. Use the space behind your mirror

You can store your accessories or other face or hair products.

Let us know in the comments your favourite storage hacks or favourite way to stay organized

-Joelle@stillsof hue

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